......since I last came in and put my thoughts to text. I have felt lately that I am on this never ending path, that is leading me nowhere. Hopeless. My heath issues are getting to me, and instead of talking about it, I find myself keeping it all in. I feel weak, and I don't like it.
Anyhow...a recent visit to my doctor sured up one thing for me - TIME TO FIND A NEW DR! If you ever feel like your doctor isn't listening to you, or dismissing your complaints, FIND A NEW ONE! Honestly, I left my last appointment, in tears, leaving behind two more tubes of blood, and feeling like this was it for me. Like I was stuck in the mud with all this RA shit, and it wasn't going to get better. I spent a night up, because in case you didn't know it, I don't sleep. (at least not without the help of some good sleepy drugs!) I did some research on the medications I am on, and with how I have been feeling lately. Two things I have found out, 1: How I am feeling is very common with how other people with RA feel, from legit feelings, to physically how I feel pain wise, etc, and 2:NO ONE uses the drugs I am on right now, as they have been proven ineffective to treat RA! I told my dr they weren't working, but NOOOOO..he didn't want to listen to me! There are other options for me, and I am in pursuit of them now.
I am slowly coming to terms that I am not superwoman (insert loud exaggerated GASP here!) and that I need to take things easy for right now. I need to let other people do things for me, and be ok with the fact that things won't necessarily get done the way I want them to be done, I need not be the control freak that I am!!! (trying! and figure if I put it in writing, I have to be held accountable somehow!)
Hopefully the 2 people who are reading this are enjoying their summer thus far!
Until next time, be well!
-mb
*******editing to say I have an appt with a new doctor July 17th - YAHOOO! Very excited! Thank you, thank you, thank you to those who helped me get in sooner than my original October 7th appointment!******
Anyhow...a recent visit to my doctor sured up one thing for me - TIME TO FIND A NEW DR! If you ever feel like your doctor isn't listening to you, or dismissing your complaints, FIND A NEW ONE! Honestly, I left my last appointment, in tears, leaving behind two more tubes of blood, and feeling like this was it for me. Like I was stuck in the mud with all this RA shit, and it wasn't going to get better. I spent a night up, because in case you didn't know it, I don't sleep. (at least not without the help of some good sleepy drugs!) I did some research on the medications I am on, and with how I have been feeling lately. Two things I have found out, 1: How I am feeling is very common with how other people with RA feel, from legit feelings, to physically how I feel pain wise, etc, and 2:NO ONE uses the drugs I am on right now, as they have been proven ineffective to treat RA! I told my dr they weren't working, but NOOOOO..he didn't want to listen to me! There are other options for me, and I am in pursuit of them now.
I am slowly coming to terms that I am not superwoman (insert loud exaggerated GASP here!) and that I need to take things easy for right now. I need to let other people do things for me, and be ok with the fact that things won't necessarily get done the way I want them to be done, I need not be the control freak that I am!!! (trying! and figure if I put it in writing, I have to be held accountable somehow!)
Hopefully the 2 people who are reading this are enjoying their summer thus far!
Until next time, be well!
-mb
*******editing to say I have an appt with a new doctor July 17th - YAHOOO! Very excited! Thank you, thank you, thank you to those who helped me get in sooner than my original October 7th appointment!******
I totally agree about ditching a doctor that isn't satisfying you. In fact, I just advised another friend yesterday to do the same thing. The problem with healthcare these days is the patient has to fight and claw to get what they need. It needs to change. (((HUGS)))
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