Sunday, July 28, 2013

MTX 1, MB 0

Second dose of MTX last night... Literally kicked my ass.  Been in bed all day!  It has to get better... No, it will! 

Be well, 
MB

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

3 days post first MTX treatment...

Thank you to those who have checked in on me to see how I am feeling, I really do appreciate your sincere concern and care! :)   As of today, I can say - I feel no better!  I have had some waves of nausea, and it seems that by early evening, I am having more difficulty walking, and the use of my hands is painful.  I know it's early, and we will have to wait it out some time - but anxiously awaiting to feel some relief! 

I have spent a good deal of time on the web, looking for any information that I can print out for Steve, and the kids to read, to understand better what is going on with me. More so, I need them to realize that I am in no way exaggerating my pain, tiredness, etc.  I know it must be extremely hard for them to all understand that I am feeling this way, when most days I just push through and get the things done that need to be done, but the last couple days, I have given in, and rested as needed. I really can't go on sometimes.  So taking care of me is the priority! 

On another note, I have an appointment for my 6 month follow up regarding the tumor in my breast.   I will have an ultra sound and see the surgeon, to find out if there has been any growth, and we will figure out what the next step is!  Never a dull moment!

Will check in tomorrow, when I know more!
Until then, be well!
mb
xo

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Chemo night!

I have to be honest, didn't think I be nervous about taking some meds!  My hand was shaking as I tossed these into my mouth and washed them down with a glass of water!  I decided to start my MTX a night early, in case I got sick, I didn't want to be home alone with the kids the first time, so at least I will have Steve with me tomorrow!  Anyhow, wish me luck- feels good and liberating to take charge if my health!  

Friday, July 19, 2013

Doctor update....

My new doctor was wonderful!  She spent 1 hour and 10 minutes in the exam room with me.  She answered every single question, did a thorough examination, and talked long winded about the many options I have.  She gave me HOPE!  Hope that I will not be living in pain for the rest of my life.  It's a long road, but I am going to get there! 

Chemotherapy - .....not just for Cancer Treatments!  Seriously!  I always thought it was strictly a cancer drug, but have learned otherwise as of late, and I start on Sunday!  Yes, you read it correct, I will start a new medication, called Methotrexate , which is one of the most effective drugs used today, to treat inflammatory arthritis! Click the link, it gives great information about the drug, how it works, how it is dosed, etc.  I am a little anxious about starting it, as it does come with all the side effects, but hopefully they are short lived..(usually the day after you take your dose)...and hopefully I start feeling like me again sooner, than later!

Thank you everyone, for well wishes, and support!

Until next time, be well!
mb 

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Heading out to see my new dr.....

Armed with a med list and list of "symptoms"....hoping for some answers and relief!!! 

Saturday, July 13, 2013

It's a bad day...

.....pain wise when I can't hold my camera up to take pictures!  ðŸ˜”

Friday, July 12, 2013

There is something to be said...

...about being a good friend. Being a friend isn't about looking to be recognized for your behavior, it's about knowing when and how to be there, even when someone doesn't ask you to be.  So it may sound like I am looking for recognition, and I am not, it's just that I constantly find myself going out of my way to maintain some friendships, and to be honest, it is quite exhausting!  I try, try, try, only to realize that I am the only one trying.  A one sided friendship is anything but that, and I think I am a damn good friend, so consider yourself lucky to have me on your side, and in your life! I think there comes a time, for everyone, when you take a look around, realize who your true friends are, and just let the rest all go. 

be well!
MB

“Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.”
Muhammad Ali

Sunday, July 7, 2013

been a short while....

......since I last came in and put my thoughts to text.  I have felt lately that I am on this never ending path, that is leading me nowhere.  Hopeless.  My heath issues are getting to me, and instead of talking about it, I find myself keeping it all in.  I feel weak, and I don't like it.

Anyhow...a recent visit to my doctor sured up one thing for me - TIME TO FIND A NEW DR!  If you ever feel like your doctor isn't listening to you, or dismissing your complaints, FIND A NEW ONE!  Honestly, I left my last appointment, in tears, leaving behind two more tubes of blood, and feeling like this was it for me.  Like I was stuck in the mud with all this RA shit, and it wasn't going to get better.  I spent a night up, because in case you didn't know it, I don't sleep. (at least not without the help of some good sleepy drugs!)  I did some research on the medications I am on, and with how I have been feeling lately. Two things I have found out, 1: How I am feeling is very common with how other people with RA feel, from  legit feelings, to physically how I feel pain wise, etc, and 2:NO ONE uses the drugs I am on right now, as they have been proven ineffective to treat RA!  I told my dr they weren't working, but NOOOOO..he didn't want to listen to me! There are other options for me, and I am in pursuit of them now. 

I am slowly coming to terms that I am not superwoman (insert loud exaggerated GASP here!)  and that I need to take things easy for right now.  I need to let other people do things for me, and be ok with the fact that things won't necessarily get done the way I want them to be done, I need not be the control freak that I am!!!  (trying! and figure if I put it in writing, I have to be held accountable somehow!)

Hopefully the 2 people who are reading this are enjoying their summer thus far!

Until next time, be well!
-mb

*******editing to say I have an appt with a new doctor July 17th - YAHOOO!  Very excited!  Thank you, thank you, thank you to those who helped me get in sooner than my original October 7th appointment!******