Wednesday, August 21, 2013

dealt a bad hand...no problem!

Restless sleep last night. Probably the worst since my inflammatory arthritis diagnosis.  I tossed and turned, uncomfortable with back and ankle pain.   It was one of those nights where every little bit as I lay awake, my mind became my worst enemy!  As I sit here at 5:04 am, "enjoying" my first cup of coffee because I couldn't lay there anymore, I figured I would run down my stretch of bad luck, and ask what the hell we did to deserve this?  To start, I am not asking to host a pity party, I am merely just caught up in the thoughts of so many things that have happened in the this past  year of 2013, and honestly having a "why  me??" moment!  I started off my year, (and this blog really!) with a health scare of my own, being a tumor in my breast, that was later found to be benign.  I received my diagnosis of RA at some time in March/April, so say in the Spring.   Fast forward to Summer, my mother receives a breast cancer diagnosis on the very day that I have my 6 month follow up to find out my tumor has not grown, therefore does not have to be removed.  My son goes away in a sudden rush to football camp, with the promise of a starting position, only to be sent home 12 hours later, in a emotional set back, because someone else showed up and preformed better on day one, and on that very day, my poor mother in law falls in my back yard during my girls 10th birthday party, and she breaks her arm and hip!  The very next day, Isabella crashes in a go cart, and she has what we are still hoping to be a minor neck injury, as we follow up with a spine specialist at Children's Hospital today.  Ok people, when can I say, enough is enough???   When does someone, God, or who ever is in charge of making things happen, realize that my family has gone through enough???   My immediate family, as well as my extended family who has had a rash of their own medical problems as of late, has had enough!  I think we deserve a "bye" in the next round.  I think we are all such good people, that we really do not deserve to be dealt such a bad hand... Really, when is this all going to stop?  I am emotionally, physically and any other form that I can be, exhausted!  I am really not sure one family can take any more...2013, you can hurry up and end, because we are ready to start fresh and new...bring on 2014!

In RA news...I paid an unexpected visit to my dr's office yesterday.  This past weekend was very hard.  I woke up Saturday, barely able to stand.  My ankle pain, which is setting off my back pain, has been at an all time high.  After seeing a wonderful NP, who I may even like more than my dr,  she has come to the conclusion that it is already time to make the change from oral MTX , which my body is not absorbing, to injections, which my body will fully absorb.  I am having an MRI on Thursday of my ankles and feet, then I follow up with her on Tuesday, as well as have an "injection" lesson and receive my first MTX injection then too.  It is being decided, based on the results of the MRI - as to whether I will be adding in a biologic injection in addition to the MTX,   I am done feeling like shit, and feeling like I can't do things.  I am ready to take on the next step in this battle, and change the way I am feeling. 

Before I go, I want to take a minute and tell everyone how completely overwhelmed I am with the support and donations I have received toward my Race for a Cure.  From my mom, my sisters and I, I can not say thank you enough!!  We all understand that this disease effects just more than us, and we know with our efforts, and the efforts of those who are around us, supporting us either mentally, or via a monetary donation, that some day we really will make this a Breast Cancer Free world!  So again, thank you! <3 p="">

The sky is getting light, and my coffee is getting cold, until next time, be well!
mb
xo

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