Sorry, not sorry. I'm a busy person, and just got so sick and tired of bitching and complaining. I try to live my life in the moment, and not focus on the bad. Not always easy. Nothing has made me want to write about what's been going on in my life, until last night. Random, I know!
I was getting myself ready to go to bed, and saying goodnight to my girls. Bella was present as I was drawing out one of my weekly injections. She stayed and watched, and for the first time said to me "I'd offer to do it for you mom, but I don't think I can." She doesn't mean she wants to take the injection FOR me, she means she'll give me my shot. For the past couple years, I always ask "hey, want to do this for me?" And they usually just say "no way!" I ask them this, well ...because some day I may not be able to do them myself. One of my injections is an auto-injector, meaning- I don't even see the needle, I just press it against my skin, and it injects me. One injection, I have to draw out myself, into what I would call is a diabetic hypodermic needle. It's the smallest needle there is, so it hurts less. Bella watched as I pinched my skin, and counted to 3, probably six times, while pinching my skin, before I actually stuck myself. She said "mom, you're so brave."
Brave.
I looked at her and said her and said "Brave? Bella, it took me six tries before I could even stick myself." And I laughed. Then I said "I don't look at this as being brave. But thank you. Firemen, police officers, soldiers are brave. I do this because it's a necessity. Without this, who knows, I could be in a wheelchair by now. ". Bella is just looking at me, with her beautiful brown deer eyes. I then said, "Bella,, it's almost selfish, but I need to do this, because without it, I couldn't be out there everyday, watching you, and Grace, and Sam, on the field, in the dirt, or on the court. I'd do anything to keep myself being able to see all that."
She hugged me, said "goodnight. I love you. And I think you're brave, Mom" ❤
I was getting myself ready to go to bed, and saying goodnight to my girls. Bella was present as I was drawing out one of my weekly injections. She stayed and watched, and for the first time said to me "I'd offer to do it for you mom, but I don't think I can." She doesn't mean she wants to take the injection FOR me, she means she'll give me my shot. For the past couple years, I always ask "hey, want to do this for me?" And they usually just say "no way!" I ask them this, well ...because some day I may not be able to do them myself. One of my injections is an auto-injector, meaning- I don't even see the needle, I just press it against my skin, and it injects me. One injection, I have to draw out myself, into what I would call is a diabetic hypodermic needle. It's the smallest needle there is, so it hurts less. Bella watched as I pinched my skin, and counted to 3, probably six times, while pinching my skin, before I actually stuck myself. She said "mom, you're so brave."
Brave.
I looked at her and said her and said "Brave? Bella, it took me six tries before I could even stick myself." And I laughed. Then I said "I don't look at this as being brave. But thank you. Firemen, police officers, soldiers are brave. I do this because it's a necessity. Without this, who knows, I could be in a wheelchair by now. ". Bella is just looking at me, with her beautiful brown deer eyes. I then said, "Bella,, it's almost selfish, but I need to do this, because without it, I couldn't be out there everyday, watching you, and Grace, and Sam, on the field, in the dirt, or on the court. I'd do anything to keep myself being able to see all that."
She hugged me, said "goodnight. I love you. And I think you're brave, Mom" ❤
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