All joking side, I have started to become a teeny bit anxious about my upcoming MTX injection.
I spent an hour or so late last night/early this morning, as I was restless and sleepless, reading up on many people's experiences of self administering their doses of MTX , and they took the time to share their story, answer questions, etc. I have picked up my prescriptions of needles and meds, and have to say, I am very intimidated by the needles. I am not a needle phobic person, but for some reason, looking at them - freaks me out some! I believe they appear to be these large needles, but after all my reading, everyone has said how they are small, and really not that bad. It's a mental thing, I am sure. I just keep reminding myself that I will feel better!
I spoke to the new NP this morning and got the results of my MRI I had last week, it "proved existence of Rheumatoid Disease, or Inflammatory Arthritis" ... as if I had any doubt! When I hung up the phone, I felt a sense of relief at the news. For some reason I keep looking for justification of all this pain I am in. It leads me back to the first dr I saw, who was making me feel like I was crazy for all the symptoms. The dr who told me "your ankle pain is not related to RA, it's from old basketball injuries" - and brings me right back to the day when I left his office, feeling hopeless and defeated, which was later followed up by determination and stubbornness! I refused to accept that that was it for me, a life of pain, and "resting" to make myself feel better. I don't have time to rest! I am so glad I sought out another dr, and refused to settle into the life the first told me I "had' to live.
I have become a fan of another blog, which is written by a women who also has RA. She is beyond educated in the disease, and I could never compare to her in regards to her knowledge, etc. What I can compare to is, when she writes about how she feels, when she gets personal, I feel like I am reading my own words. I could be the person "saying" everything she is saying. I thought I would share a recent article that she wrote, where I feel like after my experiences lately, I could have written it word for word.
http://rawarrior.com/what-would-the-car-mechanic-say-if-you-didnt-look-sick/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+RheumatoidArthritisWarrior+%28Rheumatoid+Arthritis+Warrior%29
So, as I mentioned - tomorrow is the big day. My first MTX injection. The first day of the rest of my life, Wish me luck!
Be well,
MB
I spent an hour or so late last night/early this morning, as I was restless and sleepless, reading up on many people's experiences of self administering their doses of MTX , and they took the time to share their story, answer questions, etc. I have picked up my prescriptions of needles and meds, and have to say, I am very intimidated by the needles. I am not a needle phobic person, but for some reason, looking at them - freaks me out some! I believe they appear to be these large needles, but after all my reading, everyone has said how they are small, and really not that bad. It's a mental thing, I am sure. I just keep reminding myself that I will feel better!
I spoke to the new NP this morning and got the results of my MRI I had last week, it "proved existence of Rheumatoid Disease, or Inflammatory Arthritis" ... as if I had any doubt! When I hung up the phone, I felt a sense of relief at the news. For some reason I keep looking for justification of all this pain I am in. It leads me back to the first dr I saw, who was making me feel like I was crazy for all the symptoms. The dr who told me "your ankle pain is not related to RA, it's from old basketball injuries" - and brings me right back to the day when I left his office, feeling hopeless and defeated, which was later followed up by determination and stubbornness! I refused to accept that that was it for me, a life of pain, and "resting" to make myself feel better. I don't have time to rest! I am so glad I sought out another dr, and refused to settle into the life the first told me I "had' to live.
I have become a fan of another blog, which is written by a women who also has RA. She is beyond educated in the disease, and I could never compare to her in regards to her knowledge, etc. What I can compare to is, when she writes about how she feels, when she gets personal, I feel like I am reading my own words. I could be the person "saying" everything she is saying. I thought I would share a recent article that she wrote, where I feel like after my experiences lately, I could have written it word for word.
http://rawarrior.com/what-would-the-car-mechanic-say-if-you-didnt-look-sick/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+RheumatoidArthritisWarrior+%28Rheumatoid+Arthritis+Warrior%29
So, as I mentioned - tomorrow is the big day. My first MTX injection. The first day of the rest of my life, Wish me luck!
Be well,
MB
